My favorite movie of all time is Lord of the Rings (the extended version in particular). I have watched it enough to know most of it by heart, which is frightening considering the length, but I love it.
A scene that has replayed itself in my mind recently is the one in which Gandalf faces the Balrog, the big ugly demon. I love the way he looks the thing in the eye and yells, "You shall not pass!" So cool. As my own proverbial demons surface, this scene reminds me to face them and refuse to grant them access.
The Balrog in my life is fear. It is the one thing that would destroy me if I would allow it. The key word here is “allow.” Fear can take me down only if I let it. If I am convinced of defeat, I am sure to find it. If I envision victory, then victory is mine. I will suffer loss only insofar as I will allow it. The choice is mine.
Sometimes the fear doesn't want to kill me, but rather hold me prisoner – keep me from moving, risking, growing, believing, achieving. I will remain captive if I refuse to step through its walls. The walls are not real, but illusory. Freedom lies within me.
This is the weakness of a demon -- it can keep you or destroy you solely by your leave. It wants you to believe that it is bigger, stronger, and more powerful than you are -- and some of them put up one helluva fight -- but in reality you are greater. If you believe that you are; if you will not let it pass.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.” For me, doing the thing I fear takes many forms. Sometimes it is becoming vulnerable in a relationship. Other times it is being without a relationship. Sometimes it is attending an audition, or clicking “publish” on a blog. Often, it is choosing to follow my heart or chase a dream when many would say, "Give it up." Thankfully, I’m a little too stubborn for that.
I auditioned for a film recently that would require the shaving of my head if I got the lead. Would I do it? Yes.
Would some people think I was crazy? Without a doubt.
Could I let the fear of what others may think keep me in a cage? Yes.
Will I?
No.
The big, ugly demon shall not pass.
"Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain."
ReplyDeleteNice quote, but wouldn't apply to the fear of death..
Sure it would. Being dead you would no longer have a fear of death, or anything else for that matter. ;) We could ask Mr. Emerson, however he's currently unavailable...
ReplyDeleteI tend to 'conceptualise' writing when reading. I see it in 'shapes' (weird I know but I always have done) - That post had parallel lines of steel running through it and at the end you crafted them into a bow. Very skillfull writing Monica.
ReplyDeleteBen