Out O' Shape?

Is it possible to be 5'5" inches tall, weigh in at 109 lbs., (I have no idea what that is in kilos my British mates, sorry), have 11% body fat, and still be out of shape? Yes, my friends, it is.

How do I know this? I know this because the trainers at the gym give you a free evaluation when you join. Yay!

No.

Apparently, my thoughts on what it means to be "in good shape" need some serious re-evaluation. Why? Well, because my resting heart rate is that of a crack addict, and I have never in my life despised anything the way I do that elliptical machine. Okay, perhaps the Florida State Seminoles at one point, but I've mellowed out over the years.

Now I hate machine and not man.

After about 5 minutes on that thing, the chubby girl on the one next to me is trying not to squeal with delight at my obvious demise. She's got that "Take that, Skinny Wench!" look in her eye as she struts along at high speeds, while I pant like no human ever should and give all new meaning to the song lyrics, "Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?"

Disgusting.

I was talking to one of the trainers about how much I hate cardio and he said, "Yep. You're like a guy -- you wanna look good and not sweat."

To which I replied, "Yep."

I suppose that's the only down-side to being thin. You can stay relatively cool while building muscle tone and avoid that whole nasty, sweaty, stinky, cardio mess; which means all that exercise time you put in is of no benefit whatsoever to your heart. Downer. You can still look great at the beach -- unless something blows away and God forbid you have to chase after it. But, hey, that's what kids are for, right? (I'd better bring mine along next time.)

Anyway, I had no idea guys were like that. I thought you all liked to sweat. I thought it was all part of the whole manly-testosterone-we're-not-like-chicks thing. Learn something new every day.

This day's lesson was: I'm out of shape, and like a guy.

Bizarre.