You Act That Way in Public?!

Oh, yeah. We do.

The kids and I act all kinds of silly in public places.

I’d love to blame it solely on them, but I can’t. I live to crack them up until chocolate milk (or other noteworthy liquid) comes spewing forth from their cute little noses. Then I capture the moment on the iPhone.

Terrible, aren’t I?

Fortunately, I’m the fast draw with the camera. This could potentially change however, with the addition of my daughter’s new cell-phone/camera/
communicative thumb-exerciser.

Think you’ll see photos of me as a face-fountain one day?

Not as long as I control the internet access my friend.

Muahahahaha!

For now, I get to tell the tales…










Sprite spewage. On camera.

Sarcastic thanks-a-lot-Mom expression. Nabbed.

My work here is done.

My Kitchen Hates Me

My dinner burning talents have officially broken out of the box and escaped into breakfast as well. Good thing lunch is mostly sandwiches.

I think perhaps the toaster oven is possessed and hates me. I don't change the setting and it burns things as it pleases. Its close friend, the electric can opener finds joy in frustrating me to the point of wanting to chuck it out the window. It is possible that every appliance in my entire kitchen hates me. Thank God for Friendly Fridge. However his buddy, Idle Icemaker, remains on strike.

If you are my Facebook Friend (if you're not, please join me) you know that on Tuesday night I burned the heck out of the turkey bacon in the microwave. Looked like we were having zebra. The following night, Big Nasty Oven crispified the fish sticks for dinner, at which point my loving, cuddly, 6 year-old mooned me.

The next morning, offspring of Big Nasty Oven, Nasty Little Toaster Oven, proceeded to crisp my morning waffles. They were not blackened, mind you, only half-burnt and a bit like biting into ceramic tile. I took some pics so you could share the moment with me.

Perhaps I should have a "What Not To Do In The Kitchen" show on the Food Network?

The victims:


The culprit:

Those Random Things

If you're on Facebook or MySpace, I'm sure you've seen those quizzes circulating that want you to disclose tons of personal information and share it with 200 or so of your closest friends. One of them is called "25 Random Things About Me." I decided, well, why limit myself to just Facebook when I can embarrass myself in front of the whole world? So here's my list, minus five. Hey, some things simply must stay confidential...

1. My oven has a tendency to burn things (no matter where I live) as does it’s offspring – the toaster oven.

2. I was just mooned by my 6 year-old offspring for "crisping" the fish sticks.

3. I'm fairly certain it's my computer that causes my oven to over cook things. It’s in close proximity to the kitchen.

4. Prior to the crisping, I found a typo on the Hollister website. If they pay me enough, (or send me a free hoodie) I’ll tell them where it is.

5. I talk to myself. A lot. (Working from home will do that to you.) I occasionally do so with other people in the room, or while out shopping.

6. I totally dig the movie "Mr. Bean's Holiday." (Na-na-na…)

7. I often dance with my son when shopping. It helps us both endure the process.

8. Dictionary dot com is one of my favorite websites.

9. The Thesaurus is my favorite dinosaur.

10. Along with talking to myself, I also talk to the computer, the television, the radio, and various other inanimate objects. Oh, and sometimes the drivers of other cars - usually in the form of a question...

11. I have an intense disdain for mean people, and drivers who think turn signals are optional. They are very likely one and the same.

12. I firmly believe that dark chocolate should be consumed on a daily basis.

13. My children and I regularly quote movie lines and randomly break into song (or a British accent) at any given moment.

14. I have watched not only the entire LOTR extended DVD set, but all of the making of, and even the commentaries. (Hey, I had a knee injury...thank God.)

15. If you look closely at my ears, you'll understand why I would've made the perfect bride for Legolas.

16. My son just informed me that Spider Man is lost in my bed. Understandable, it's a very large bed. But if I find him first I'm keeping him.

17. On occasion I feel the overwhelming desire to be upside-down, and must do a cartwheel, handstand, hang from the monkey bars, over the couch, or assume some type of yoga position to invert myself. I don't know why, it just makes me feel good.

18. I've known the song lyrics to almost every song on the radio since I was three years old. This would amuse/irritate friends in college who tried repeatedly change the station.

19. Alone or with kids, remaining in the parked car to finish singing a good song is a normal part of life. I wonder how many parking lot security cameras have filmed our in-car concerts?

20. I probably would have gone insane were it not for the invention of the internet. Wouldn't we all?